Farewell

​My second internship in India is getting to it’s end.  All I can say is: “Love you, India”.  
In my first interview at AIESEC Brazil one of the questions my interviewer Ariane did was which country I was wandering to go. I found this question very difficult to answer but even more difficult was to reply which country I would never go. 
I prepare the answer for the second question at home. How could I explain to them that this country “I would never go” does not exist? I researched the list of the worst countries to be a woman and gather some nice explanations.  I was prepared to go anywhere. I applied to Switzerland, Turkey, China, Hungary, Mongolia, South Africa, Mexico, Colombia, Pakistan and any other that had a nice internship at the moment. My friends laughed at me when I told I was looking forward a replay from Afghanistan and I waited weeks for an answer from Malaysia that I never got.
After 5 months producing cover letters, video cover letters, strategic plans and whatever the imagination of a HR can came up and listening “no” after “no” I decided to look for something in my country (the time frame to be in the AIESEC patform for us, Brazilians is of 6 months). 
I was not counting with an international internship in my CV anymore and I have to admit, I was pissed. It was when looking at aiesec system I saw a new internship: Teaching in an university in India. “Com’on this is too much for me”. Some days latter I receive an e-mail from an Indian Girl called Radhika Batra, inviting me to apply to the same internship. I was tired of sending CVs, intention letters, waking up ate 5, 4, 3 in the morning to make interviews and they were asking for copies of my academic history and other papers. Should I give a last try? If It’s for lose at list lets do it fighting.  
I scanned my documents, writted more one cover letter and applied for the internship. Meanwhile the application processes were going on I receive a call from the local newspaper of my city. They were looking for a journalist and they had two prospective candidates with similar qualifications, me and another girl. The dill was: I would work for 2 weeks as free lancer and after the other girl would do the same and so they would choose the best of us to work with them. I decide to give it a try.
The interview with the chancellor of journalism department  at the university was difficult to arrange. After some communication and time zone problems, finally I talked with him. At 5 in the morning that mustache guy with a very difficult to understand accent and a prim attitude didn’t inspire my best. “It’s ok will do better in the newspaper and get a job in my city, sounds nice enough to me. We cannot have everything. You did your best.” 
After one week and 3 days in the newspaper I was invited to stay in the job. I got kind of happy and told I need some time to think about their proposal, got back home, told the news to my family, opened my e-mail and saw an invitation letter from LPU with a long list of rules and calling me to join them for 4 months. It didn’t really look real for me. I read again and again. I checked the sender, I checked the invitation letter, the signature, everything, and yes, my name was there, just 7 days to be kicked out of AIESEC system.  
Without breath I open the door of my room called my mother and stuttering I gave her the news she was not wandering to have. Later, I went to my father, he was in his office checking bank statements with his head bowed and his glasses on the tip of his nose.
– What are you doing father? 

– Checking bank statements. 

– Have you ever find something wrong in the bills?

– Never.

– So why do you check all of them every single month?   

– To make sure it’s right. 

– Hum… Did mum tell you that I receive a proposal from a university in India?

– Yes she told. He answered without raise his head or stop the checking.

–  So…

– But you are not going.

– How I’m not going. 

Unperturbed he took another sheet with more bank statements 

– You got a nice job here, in journalism how you where wanting. And the other is in India. India is a poor country. You will not like it. You are not going. – He told me in the same tone of voice he says he wants to eat bread. 

– No father. I do want to go to India. I worked so hard for this internship. And It is for teaching journalism. It is a great opportunity. I am going. 

– How are you going to India? I cannot afford your tickets. 

– I have my savings. 

He stopped with his papers and looked at me.

– You will not like it, darling. After you will call me asking to come back. India is ugly. 

The conversation continued and I had lots more with both of my parents. All then full of  how I was been unresponsable and imature leaving the garanteed job (that in my opinion would never give me opportunity to grow), would India was ugly and unsafe, and how I would regret my decision, and how I would ask to come back early and how they would let me in India (com’on parents do you really think I believed you would not come to pick me up if I say I do not want to stay anymore?). My father told if was going to Europe It would be ok, but India? What I was wandering to do in India? 
I din’t listen to them, I told I was sure about my decision and so my parents helped me to organize the trip, apply for the visa, get prepared for the journey, pack and everything.  (Yep, in the end they are cool) 

I pretended I was sure and secure about my decision but I was not. I’m not a courageous, secure, determinated girl I just have more fear of regreat something I didn’t do that to regreat something I did.  
I went to the airport, I took the plane.  I took the bus from Delhi to Punjab. I went further that I’ve never been. I met a completely different culture. I slept in a dirty, dusty room with a smelly blanket for 2 days. I took cold showers under 0Cº till met lovely Indian girls who told me I should buy a bucket and a mug cause the hot wather do not come from the shower. I faced 65 students in a class. I travelled. I took rusty and dirty Indian busses to Jaipur, Chandigarh, Dharamsala, Delhi. I went by train to see the astonishing beauty of the Taj Mahal. I finished my internship. I went to leave in AIESEC dirty house, (and my dear AIESEC friends I will never forget that nightmare bathroom, all the one month trash and dishes smelling and attracting all kinds of insects and who knows what more). I went to Delhi and had lots of fun with Radhika and to Manali too. I had fun with the same not so into cleanness aiesecers and I must to say they are pretty cool. I got a new internship. I needed to start a 2 month peregrination to FROs, FRROS, Police Officers and face all beautnnes of the adorable Indian bureaucracy and bureaucrats. I celebrate my Bday with aiesecers (thank you guys for the cake you really did my day happy). I got evicted from AIESEC house toguether with the aiesecers. I went to live  with Saumya an assamese girl and a Punjab Family. I moved to Amritzar. I started working again. I took one day fasting. I went to an Indian marriage. 

I did, saw and faced lots of things in this almost one year, and all I can say is:  I love you India. 
I will never forget you and the lovely friends I did here. I am going home because I need to but a peace of my heart will stay here. 

And if I could go back in the time, if I could choose between any other country in the world and India. I would still stick with you, lovely and crazy nation. 

 

My special regards to all my friends, students and colleagues from India and that I met in India. You are too much people to write down here but you all are in my heart.